School Support for Parents

Student Services for Parents

Let us Coach you on your next move in advocating for your child!

Student Services for Parents

As parents, we remember being in school, however long ago that was. We hope for our children a better schooling experience than what we had regardless of how good or bad it was. We only want the best for our kids!

• Is your child experiencing the best?

• Do you have challenges with your child that you are not able to understand?

• Does your child have challenges, they are not able to understand?

We recommend the following steps in resolving any school challenges you might have. These are recognized steps in the education system and will most often bring success to most situations. This includes behaviour or any kind, academic as well as cognitive challenges your child might have:

Contact the teacher directly. Te first step used to be for parents to get involved in their child’s classroom. Years ago, the normalcy of school invited parents to volunteer in-class, to chaperon fieldtrips, attend classroom meetings and such to find out and get a front row seat of what is ‘really’ going on in the class. Let’s just say those days are gone! My personal opinion from years of experience is not because these were bad ideas. Those days of openness have been ruined by parents who purposefully went ‘into classrooms’ to discredit or ‘find dirt’ on the teacher RATHER THAN dealing with the issues directly. YES these individuals had ruined it for everyone, leaving well intentioned parents, and many shy parents restricted from their children’s education all for the protection of the profession. One can agree with school administration that closing access, was mostly as a reaction to past negative experiences.

So Let’s contact the teacher in a positive way.

Don’t play the saviour - When you speak to your child or the teacher – Don’t play a savoir – someone who will save and fix everything. We know in life that often there are two (or more) sides to every situation. Becoming or professing your superhero attack will more often than not a)show your child that you didn’t ‘do enough to fix it’ and / or b) approach the teacher from an attacking position.

Try to step back and give them some space to deal with the situation on their own. If they can’t improve their relationship with their teacher, then you’ll know for sure that they need your help. Or if your coach your child to ask for the teachers assistance and support in a particular situation, and nothing materializes… then you might need to step in.

Take your child’s side … at first. When your child first approaches you with a problem, listen and be sympathetic. Let them tell their side of the story. It’s the best way to get the most information out of your child. You can ask questions to find out more about the situation later.

Define the problem. When your child complains about a teacher, take time to figure out exactly what they are saying. For example, if your child says, “She doesn’t like me,” it might really mean something more specific, like “She gets frustrated when I’m not listening.” The problem could be something you never would have imagined. Maybe your child thinks they are brighter than the teacher and challenges them on everything under the sun, or maybe they are struggling in the subject and is taking the easy way out by blaming the teacher. Friendship, food, sleep, clothing, communication, social media – everything and anything is possible in a variety of combinations. Defining the problem with open ended questions (not leading questions – which teachers themselves do to their own children!) will provide a meaningful and accurate identification of the issue.

Hear the teacher out. Contacting the teacher for the first time can be awkward. Approach the conversation with the mentality that you are just trying to understand the situation and would like to make it workable for both the teacher and your child. Be respectful of their point of view, and then focus together on what your child needs in the classroom. Avoid personal criticism at all costs.

WHEN CALLING TO SPEAK TO A TEACHER follow these steps:

• i. Call the school around 9:30 am or 11 am – and ask to leave a message for the teacher. You know they are working... so always say... 'this is not an emergency but if you can call me sometime today, that would be great'

• ii. In the message identify your name, your child’s name and the class in which this is referencing. Ask for them to call you back when they have about 20 min to speak. Indicate the conversation shouldn’t take more than 15 min, and you don’t want to impede any of their breaks. You can also ask for them to call you at a specified number after school- if that works.

• iii. When they call, greet them and thank them for getting back to you. Identify that you have been made aware of a situation, briefly explain what you heard. THEN tell the teacher ‘you know there is always two sides to the story’ and if they can fill you in on what they might know.

• iv. Up until the ending, try using questions only when discovering the particulars. The 5 W’s is a great way… never assume that the teacher knows the full story, and they might even say – they will need more time.

• v. Identify what next steps from your end, or the teachers end will be and if there needs to be a follow up meeting.

• vi. KEEP THE CALL TO 15 min! Even if the teacher likes to talk, or you are one of those who like to talk – keep on topic and on finding out what happened. If the situation requires – then setup a face to face (or Video chat) to continue the discussion.

• vii. Share with the teacher that you will take the information and continue to ask your child for more specifics. Hopefully more info comes out.

• viii. Thank the teacher for their support. You might not feel like they have given you any at the moment, but you will have gained more information regarding the situation than before speaking with them.

Make a game plan. The goal here is to give your child space to explore feelings (both good and bad) about what is happening and how they see the problem, and then learn how to help find solutions or ideas on how to survive the situation. The major role you play is asking them questions, asking how they feel, asking if they think it’s right and what should change. That might also mean helping your child come up with a way to share their concerns with the teacher. Alternatively, it may mean setting up a meeting with the teacher yourself but consider including your child in the meeting so that both sides feel understood.

Focus on academics. Acknowledge that your child may never like this teacher but ensure they understand that they are still accountable for their own actions. Emphasize the importance of being friendly in the classroom and turning in quality homework.

View it as a life lesson. Your child’s interactions with this teacher, as much as they may not enjoy them, are learning opportunities. You should point out to your child that there will be other people in his life who have a different personality, disposition, temper or communication style, and they will have to learn how to deal with them respectfully.

Climb up the hierarchy - this is where our expert advice and experience comes in - might be time for a consult. If the problem is causing your child to dread school or hate learning, you may need to go further than a meeting with the teacher. Find out the school’s policy about parent-teacher disagreements, such as whether you will need to file a formal complaint. You may need to speak with the school’s principal first, or possibly even the superintendent as a last resort, to get your child’s needs addressed. If your child is truly suffering, you may want to consider homeschooling for a period of time while the school goes through the process of addressing the complaint.

Keep records. If there’s a major concern about a single event between your child and a teacher, make sure to document the date, time and specifics of the event immediately. If other children were involved, write their names down… only speak to their parents – if you have a good relationship with them, and document their stories as well. This is when the well meaning parent might have emotions that turn them into ‘THAT PARENT’ that both education staff and other families dread. You have concerns, and want to validate them with a full picture of what happened… but there is that fine line you don’t want to cross. Be respectful, optimistic and write everything down. There will be time for you soak it all in at home. This is often when a parent may feel overwhelmed and ask for assistance from friends, family or even a professional source. Know that you are not alone and that asking for help for your child shows strength and caring. Remember the line.

Thank the teacher. If you see that the teacher is making an effort, even if the problem isn’t resolved, make sure to show appreciation. Take advantage of teacher appreciation day or holidays to give the teacher a tangible “Thank you” for taking the time to work with you and your child. IF this scenario you are dealing with was handled respectively, know that your child is now in the ‘view’ of the teacher. If this is a behavioral situation, It is often in large classrooms where the teacher does take their focus off of some students to work with others. It is only human that they are doing their jobs, but it is also human when ‘mis-behaviors’ may occur ‘when the teacher isn’t looking’!

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